We enjoyed a great night last night. Celebrating our first Burns Night at the Oak with an evening of incomprehensible ramblings! After the haggis was formally blessed by our friendly Scottish friend (complete with Scotland the Brave blaring!) we settled down to an evening of fun poetry from some of our regulars.
Carmen also joined in the spirit with a little ditty about her poor deceased car!
Goodbye little car, I'll miss you so
Parked in the drive there waiting to go
Pretty, blue, never failing to start
You have a special place here in my heart
Then you started breaking and you cost me quite a lot
New pads, new brakes - it never bloody stopped
You leak oil everywhere - you ba****d little car
You're going to the scrapyard tomorrow - ha ha ha!
OK Carmen - don't call us!
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Friday, January 11, 2008
Join us for the Wassail ceremony
Its a busy week for the Oak.
Carmen is wowing the West End ... well, OK , wowing Beckley with her performance in Wind in the Willows - catch her tonight or tomorrow at either of the matinee or evening performances.
Meanwhile, on Saturday, we have one of our busiest evenings of the year - the Wassail ceremony. This ancient Sussex tradition of wassailing the apple trees takes place from around 7pm.
Wassail is an Anglo Saxon word meaning good health and the tradition of toasting the trees was often known as Howling locally.
It involves pouring cider on the roots and branches of apple trees and making loud noises to scare away any evil spirits before reciting the old wassail rhyme of "Stand fast root, bear well top, may God send us a good howling crop".
The good natured ceremony is said to ensure a good crop of apples later in the year.
Saturday's festivities will also include a traditional Mummers play and Border Morris dancing as well as music and songs in the pub.
So, why not come along and join us?
Carmen is wowing the West End ... well, OK , wowing Beckley with her performance in Wind in the Willows - catch her tonight or tomorrow at either of the matinee or evening performances.
Meanwhile, on Saturday, we have one of our busiest evenings of the year - the Wassail ceremony. This ancient Sussex tradition of wassailing the apple trees takes place from around 7pm.
Wassail is an Anglo Saxon word meaning good health and the tradition of toasting the trees was often known as Howling locally.
It involves pouring cider on the roots and branches of apple trees and making loud noises to scare away any evil spirits before reciting the old wassail rhyme of "Stand fast root, bear well top, may God send us a good howling crop".
The good natured ceremony is said to ensure a good crop of apples later in the year.
Saturday's festivities will also include a traditional Mummers play and Border Morris dancing as well as music and songs in the pub.
So, why not come along and join us?
Monday, January 7, 2008
Burns Night – an evening of culture
We enjoyed a great night last night. Celebrating our first Burns Night at the Oak with an evening of incomprehensible ramblings! After the haggis was formally blessed by our friendly Scottish friend (complete with Scotland the Brave blaring!) we settled down to an evening of fun poetry from some of our regulars.
Carmen also joined in the spirit with a little ditty about her poor deceased car!
Carmen also joined in the spirit with a little ditty about her poor deceased car!
Friday, January 4, 2008
The Ten Great Restaurant Swindles - not in the Oak though - we guarantee it!
We were interested in a report issued this week on the Ten Greatest Restaurant Swindles.
1. Sea bass or not?
Once cooked, the prime fillet of sea bass can be hard to identify – and there are many lookalike, imposter species being dressed up as the original. Among the counterfeit fish recently identified in Britain's kitchens by local authorities were the Patagonian toothfish – which is often sold under the moniker of "sea bass".
Royal Oak Sea Bass is ... Sea Bass. Guaranteed!!
2. Plastic salads
Supermarket bagged salads are full of additives, deteriorate rapidly, and have been vilified as an environmental disaster. But while it may be acceptable to crack open a bag in the comfort of your own home, there's no excuse for serving the stuff in a restaurant. But most pub chains do use pre-prepared salad to garnish their burgers and fries.
Our kitchen is crammed with lettuce, tomatoes and cucumbers - honestly!!
3. Instant egg, and other powders in a packet
According to Government food policy officer Les Bailey, the appearance of the words " made from natural ingredients" on menus should set alarm bells ringing. The officer, who oversees trading standards in British restaurants, has heard of countless examples of the less work-intensive powdered egg being passed off as scrambled. Less common is powdered potato – often conspicuous by its ever-present lumps – but still passed off by crafty caterers as genuine mash.
Powdered Egg????? John would kill us!! Our eggs are free range and laid by our local hens - just a few hundred yards from our front door!
4. Reformed ham, chicken or scampi
It's common for eateries to pass off scampi tails glued together with additives as "scampi" pieces. They can even be minced scampi that has been breaded. This is " reformed scampi", a turn-off for menu-writers.
Reformed? NO!!!!!
5. When "organic" equals factory-farmed
Foodies love organic meat, and are willing to pay vastly inflated prices in the belief that it's healthier and tastes better. But not every restaurant plays by the rules. In December, a Notting Hill eaterie frequented by Kate Moss, Robbie Williams and Kylie Minogue was fined £7,500 for falsely claiming that meat it was using was organic.
When we do say Organic, we mean organic. But more often than not we serve honest to goodness meat. And we cook it well too!
6. Dodgy drinks
Drinks can account for half a typical restaurant bill, so it's little surprise that canny outlets use every trick in the book to increase their margins. Always check that the label on your wine bottle tallies with the menu – cheaper vintages are often substituted in the hope that a diner won't notice.
Check our wine list - it does what it says on the tin.
7. The fishy business of "wild" salmon
It is little wonder, given how many times we are told that farmed salmon is full of toxic nasties, that people are prepared to pay a fortune for the wild variety. However, research by the Food Standards Agency reveals that up to 15 per cent of fish labelled as "wild" is actually farmed. Its survey found that 10 per cent of "wild" sea bass on menus was farmed, rising to 11 per cent of sea bream and 15 per cent of salmon. The reason is purely financial. Farmed fish is much cheaper than wild: in markets wild salmon can cost £30 per kg, while the farmed variety can cost from just £4.20 per kg.
When we use Salmon, we always tell you the source. We sometimes use farmed salmon - which cooked right tastes just great and is priced reasonably to reflect its quality.
8. When "home cooked" means microwaved
The term " home-cooked" that is scrawled across many a pub chalkboard is meaningless. Ideally, steak-and-kidney pies, pasties and apple pies should be prepared on-site with enough genuine effort to be called " home-cooked ".
When we say home cooked, we mean home cooked. Period!
9. Boil-in-the-bag main course
The "pub grub" industry needs to produce reliable food, fast. Many outlets therefore resort to serving "boil-in-the-bag" main courses, which chefs tend to call " sous vide" – a nebulous (if gourmet-licious) term that literally translates as "in a vacuum". It is, for example, almost impossible to lay one's teeth on a freshly cooked lamb shank in UK pubs (including Mr Dancer's), because it can take up to five hours to cook. Boil-in-the-bag can be heated up in minutes.
Not even worth commenting on. Our competitors may - but we never use boil in the bag!
10. Line-caught lies
"Line-caught" conjures up images of an artisan fisher with a rod. What it actually means is that an ugly great trawler has crossed the ocean with several hundred yards of nylon and hooks hanging out the back, indiscriminately killing all sea life as well as the occasional albatross. Even then, line-caught fish is more expensive than farmed or netted alternatives, since it is normally fresher and its flesh firmer. Most consumers cannot taste the difference, and an estimated 5 per cent is mislabelled by disreputable outlets or suppliers.
We serve unpretentious food. So 'line caught doesn't enter the equation.
1. Sea bass or not?
Once cooked, the prime fillet of sea bass can be hard to identify – and there are many lookalike, imposter species being dressed up as the original. Among the counterfeit fish recently identified in Britain's kitchens by local authorities were the Patagonian toothfish – which is often sold under the moniker of "sea bass".
Royal Oak Sea Bass is ... Sea Bass. Guaranteed!!
2. Plastic salads
Supermarket bagged salads are full of additives, deteriorate rapidly, and have been vilified as an environmental disaster. But while it may be acceptable to crack open a bag in the comfort of your own home, there's no excuse for serving the stuff in a restaurant. But most pub chains do use pre-prepared salad to garnish their burgers and fries.
Our kitchen is crammed with lettuce, tomatoes and cucumbers - honestly!!
3. Instant egg, and other powders in a packet
According to Government food policy officer Les Bailey, the appearance of the words " made from natural ingredients" on menus should set alarm bells ringing. The officer, who oversees trading standards in British restaurants, has heard of countless examples of the less work-intensive powdered egg being passed off as scrambled. Less common is powdered potato – often conspicuous by its ever-present lumps – but still passed off by crafty caterers as genuine mash.
Powdered Egg????? John would kill us!! Our eggs are free range and laid by our local hens - just a few hundred yards from our front door!
4. Reformed ham, chicken or scampi
It's common for eateries to pass off scampi tails glued together with additives as "scampi" pieces. They can even be minced scampi that has been breaded. This is " reformed scampi", a turn-off for menu-writers.
Reformed? NO!!!!!
5. When "organic" equals factory-farmed
Foodies love organic meat, and are willing to pay vastly inflated prices in the belief that it's healthier and tastes better. But not every restaurant plays by the rules. In December, a Notting Hill eaterie frequented by Kate Moss, Robbie Williams and Kylie Minogue was fined £7,500 for falsely claiming that meat it was using was organic.
When we do say Organic, we mean organic. But more often than not we serve honest to goodness meat. And we cook it well too!
6. Dodgy drinks
Drinks can account for half a typical restaurant bill, so it's little surprise that canny outlets use every trick in the book to increase their margins. Always check that the label on your wine bottle tallies with the menu – cheaper vintages are often substituted in the hope that a diner won't notice.
Check our wine list - it does what it says on the tin.
7. The fishy business of "wild" salmon
It is little wonder, given how many times we are told that farmed salmon is full of toxic nasties, that people are prepared to pay a fortune for the wild variety. However, research by the Food Standards Agency reveals that up to 15 per cent of fish labelled as "wild" is actually farmed. Its survey found that 10 per cent of "wild" sea bass on menus was farmed, rising to 11 per cent of sea bream and 15 per cent of salmon. The reason is purely financial. Farmed fish is much cheaper than wild: in markets wild salmon can cost £30 per kg, while the farmed variety can cost from just £4.20 per kg.
When we use Salmon, we always tell you the source. We sometimes use farmed salmon - which cooked right tastes just great and is priced reasonably to reflect its quality.
8. When "home cooked" means microwaved
The term " home-cooked" that is scrawled across many a pub chalkboard is meaningless. Ideally, steak-and-kidney pies, pasties and apple pies should be prepared on-site with enough genuine effort to be called " home-cooked ".
When we say home cooked, we mean home cooked. Period!
9. Boil-in-the-bag main course
The "pub grub" industry needs to produce reliable food, fast. Many outlets therefore resort to serving "boil-in-the-bag" main courses, which chefs tend to call " sous vide" – a nebulous (if gourmet-licious) term that literally translates as "in a vacuum". It is, for example, almost impossible to lay one's teeth on a freshly cooked lamb shank in UK pubs (including Mr Dancer's), because it can take up to five hours to cook. Boil-in-the-bag can be heated up in minutes.
Not even worth commenting on. Our competitors may - but we never use boil in the bag!
10. Line-caught lies
"Line-caught" conjures up images of an artisan fisher with a rod. What it actually means is that an ugly great trawler has crossed the ocean with several hundred yards of nylon and hooks hanging out the back, indiscriminately killing all sea life as well as the occasional albatross. Even then, line-caught fish is more expensive than farmed or netted alternatives, since it is normally fresher and its flesh firmer. Most consumers cannot taste the difference, and an estimated 5 per cent is mislabelled by disreputable outlets or suppliers.
We serve unpretentious food. So 'line caught doesn't enter the equation.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Phew!! Was that it?????
Well it's all gone quiet now.
Pip has put his pinny away and Marc has cooked his last turkey of the season - and Carmen has picked the bones of the last bird in the house! It's been a great Christmas, with some terrific evenings. On Christmas Eve we had a large party booked in and, indeed, we saw a steady stream of visitors right through to New Years Eve.
Our New Years Eve night saw us welcome 2008 with a large group of friends - both old and new. We had music from John on his guitar plus some god old fashioned bopping music - and we finally wished our last guest 'Goodnight' in the early hours. Pip then went and showed us how the old can still do it by popping over to Deal to take part in a the Bra Run on New Year's Eve. Unfortunately, Carmen wasn't on the best of form having picked up the lurgy - but with a New Year and a new packet of Lemsip, she should be right as rain soon.
So, what can we look forward to in the coming weeks?
Well next week its a bit of a crazy week for Mine Host, with Carmen starring in a local production of Wind in the Willows. And on Saturday it's Wassail time, with lots of men with beards, some storytelling and lots of folky music.
If you're coming along, make sure you get here early, it will get very busy!
We've Bluegrass every Thursday night. Then, on Tuesday 15th we've the third in our Winter Quiz series - with a superb vegetable up for grabs for the winning team! Be there around 8.30 for the start.
Plus, of course, Marc will be serving up his fabulous food right the way through the winter months - so do pay us a visit soon!
Pip has put his pinny away and Marc has cooked his last turkey of the season - and Carmen has picked the bones of the last bird in the house! It's been a great Christmas, with some terrific evenings. On Christmas Eve we had a large party booked in and, indeed, we saw a steady stream of visitors right through to New Years Eve.
Our New Years Eve night saw us welcome 2008 with a large group of friends - both old and new. We had music from John on his guitar plus some god old fashioned bopping music - and we finally wished our last guest 'Goodnight' in the early hours. Pip then went and showed us how the old can still do it by popping over to Deal to take part in a the Bra Run on New Year's Eve. Unfortunately, Carmen wasn't on the best of form having picked up the lurgy - but with a New Year and a new packet of Lemsip, she should be right as rain soon.
So, what can we look forward to in the coming weeks?
Well next week its a bit of a crazy week for Mine Host, with Carmen starring in a local production of Wind in the Willows. And on Saturday it's Wassail time, with lots of men with beards, some storytelling and lots of folky music.
If you're coming along, make sure you get here early, it will get very busy!We've Bluegrass every Thursday night. Then, on Tuesday 15th we've the third in our Winter Quiz series - with a superb vegetable up for grabs for the winning team! Be there around 8.30 for the start.
Plus, of course, Marc will be serving up his fabulous food right the way through the winter months - so do pay us a visit soon!
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
We ask the questions!!
Our Christmas season is well under way and we've welcomed a number of parties already.The Oak is offering Christmas Party menus for groups of 4 and upwards right the way through to Christmas - and we have our special party night next wednesday, with a live band and other festive goodies on offer. We do have a couple of tables still free for the evening, so do get in touch if you want to join us.
Last night, we held the second in our Winter Quiz Series. Seven teams battled it out for the honour of lifting the trophy - this month's special trophy was a giant parsnip (yes, really!) kindly donated by November winners Richard and Maggie.
A great night was had by most - and our next evening is scheduled for January 15th.
Before then, we have plenty of live music, with our acoustic Open Mic Night on Tuesday next (18th), the 1066 Rocket Men next wednesday (19th) and a New Year's Eve party with live music from John plus plenty of party dance music.
Don't forget too that our weekly Bluegrass Night takes place every Thursday - so we'll see you soon?
PS Pip has only gone and got all sporty!
Here he is running in the Swanley Christmas Caper. He didn't win the race but he did win a Christmas Pudding for his outfit!
Sunday, December 2, 2007
It's our money they're spending......
I'm going to start ranting now.
A report in today's Sunday Telegraph says (you know? I can hardly bring myself to say it)that a Government manual has been printed to offer advice on how to tell if someone is drunk.
It's true!
Our own money has been spent on printing a pile of books to tell us how to spot a drunk. I simply despair - but here's what our money has been spent on. The guide will teach our policemen how to spot drunks:
From looking out for staggering or "dishevelled" pub-goers to listening for "rambling conversation" and offensive language, the Home Office publication covers it all in minute detail. The guide is being issued to thousands of police officers who will work undercover in pubs and clubs this Christmas to catch bar staff who sell alcohol to inebriated customers.
The manual descibes ways to spot a drunk
Other tell-tale signs of drunkenness, according to the guide, include being "careless with money", exhibiting inappropriate sexual behaviour, offensive language, bumping into furniture, spilling drinks and drinking quickly or competitively, "i.e down in one". Drunkenness may also cause a loss of train of thought, difficulty in paying attention, "not understanding what is said", glassy eyes or lack of focus.
Now, I have to admit, I'd struggle to spot a drunk.
NOT!!!
The manual was condemned yesterday as "absolute nonsense" by the pub trade, which called on the Government to focus on the supermarkets that sell cheap alcohol.
A spokesman for the Licensed Victuallers' Association said: "It seems ridiculous that a trained police officer needs help in identifying someone who is drunk. If you apply all these guidelines in the average pub any customer could be classified as drunk."
The guide is being issued to 90 police teams across the country taking part in the pre-Christmas Responsible Sales of Alcohol Campaign, which started last night and will run until Christmas Eve.
Undercover officers will mingle in pubs and issue £80 fixed penalties to staff who ''knowingly" sell alcohol to someone who is drunk. Selling to a drunk customer is an offence under the Licensing Act but confusion over what defines ''drunk" has engulfed the pub trade - until now.
A spokesman for the Home Office confirmed that undercover police officers are being taught how to spot a drunkard. He said: ''As part of the Responsible Sales of Alcohol Campaign, plain clothes police officers have been issued guidelines on monitoring the sale of alcohol to intoxicated individuals. The Home Office does not make a secret of the guidelines it issues to police, which are aimed at protecting the public and staff working in licensed premises."
Well here at the Royal Oak, we believe that we could have saved the Home Office - and us, as taxpayers, a heap of money. So, here, for free, gratis, for nil payment is the Royal Oak's guide on how to spot a drunk. It has been produced following year's of careful study by Pip - so here we go:
You know when you're drunk when:
1. You lose an argument with the ashtray.
2. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling over.
3 The doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
4. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
5. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!
6. You can focus better with one eye closed.
7. You fall off the floor...
8. Your kids are called Mild and Bitter.
9. Your idea of cutting back is less crisps
10. The whole pub says "Hi" when you come in...
11. The pub dog looks good.
12. Pip suddenly looks really hot.
13. You have trouble speaking clearly. "Hello" comes out as "Wanna s**g?"
14. Your mouth feels all furry because you've just drunk the ash tray.
15. You can't remember what sort of car you own.
16. You can't remember what a car looks like.
17. You just spent an hour chatting up the cigarette machine.
18. You consider urinating in the wash basin, rather than waiting in the queue.
19. You urinate in the wash basin rather than waiting in the queue.
20. You urinate in the queue.
21. You can't find your left hand.
22. You try to count to 10, in 11's
23. You drive the dog home
24. You get into the back seat by mistake and call the police thinking someone has stolen the steering wheel.
25. Declaring your undying love to your best friend seems like a really good idea.
26. You can't count to 1.
27. Marinne Faithful sounds good.
28. You start showing off your willy tricks.
29. You spend your last £5 (in ten pence pieces) on a taxi back to some girl's flat, only to relise when you get there that she didn't get into the taxi with you, and you now have to walk 5 miles home.
30. The toaster can be considered an acceptable substitute for the ashtray.
31. You whisper louder than most people shout.
Think that's it - unless, of course, you know any more ....
A report in today's Sunday Telegraph says (you know? I can hardly bring myself to say it)that a Government manual has been printed to offer advice on how to tell if someone is drunk.
It's true!
Our own money has been spent on printing a pile of books to tell us how to spot a drunk. I simply despair - but here's what our money has been spent on. The guide will teach our policemen how to spot drunks:
From looking out for staggering or "dishevelled" pub-goers to listening for "rambling conversation" and offensive language, the Home Office publication covers it all in minute detail. The guide is being issued to thousands of police officers who will work undercover in pubs and clubs this Christmas to catch bar staff who sell alcohol to inebriated customers.
The manual descibes ways to spot a drunk
Other tell-tale signs of drunkenness, according to the guide, include being "careless with money", exhibiting inappropriate sexual behaviour, offensive language, bumping into furniture, spilling drinks and drinking quickly or competitively, "i.e down in one". Drunkenness may also cause a loss of train of thought, difficulty in paying attention, "not understanding what is said", glassy eyes or lack of focus.
Now, I have to admit, I'd struggle to spot a drunk.
NOT!!!
The manual was condemned yesterday as "absolute nonsense" by the pub trade, which called on the Government to focus on the supermarkets that sell cheap alcohol.
A spokesman for the Licensed Victuallers' Association said: "It seems ridiculous that a trained police officer needs help in identifying someone who is drunk. If you apply all these guidelines in the average pub any customer could be classified as drunk."
The guide is being issued to 90 police teams across the country taking part in the pre-Christmas Responsible Sales of Alcohol Campaign, which started last night and will run until Christmas Eve.
Undercover officers will mingle in pubs and issue £80 fixed penalties to staff who ''knowingly" sell alcohol to someone who is drunk. Selling to a drunk customer is an offence under the Licensing Act but confusion over what defines ''drunk" has engulfed the pub trade - until now.
A spokesman for the Home Office confirmed that undercover police officers are being taught how to spot a drunkard. He said: ''As part of the Responsible Sales of Alcohol Campaign, plain clothes police officers have been issued guidelines on monitoring the sale of alcohol to intoxicated individuals. The Home Office does not make a secret of the guidelines it issues to police, which are aimed at protecting the public and staff working in licensed premises."
Well here at the Royal Oak, we believe that we could have saved the Home Office - and us, as taxpayers, a heap of money. So, here, for free, gratis, for nil payment is the Royal Oak's guide on how to spot a drunk. It has been produced following year's of careful study by Pip - so here we go:
You know when you're drunk when:
1. You lose an argument with the ashtray.
2. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling over.
3 The doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
4. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
5. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!
6. You can focus better with one eye closed.
7. You fall off the floor...
8. Your kids are called Mild and Bitter.
9. Your idea of cutting back is less crisps
10. The whole pub says "Hi" when you come in...
11. The pub dog looks good.
12. Pip suddenly looks really hot.
13. You have trouble speaking clearly. "Hello" comes out as "Wanna s**g?"
14. Your mouth feels all furry because you've just drunk the ash tray.
15. You can't remember what sort of car you own.
16. You can't remember what a car looks like.
17. You just spent an hour chatting up the cigarette machine.
18. You consider urinating in the wash basin, rather than waiting in the queue.
19. You urinate in the wash basin rather than waiting in the queue.
20. You urinate in the queue.
21. You can't find your left hand.
22. You try to count to 10, in 11's
23. You drive the dog home
24. You get into the back seat by mistake and call the police thinking someone has stolen the steering wheel.
25. Declaring your undying love to your best friend seems like a really good idea.
26. You can't count to 1.
27. Marinne Faithful sounds good.
28. You start showing off your willy tricks.
29. You spend your last £5 (in ten pence pieces) on a taxi back to some girl's flat, only to relise when you get there that she didn't get into the taxi with you, and you now have to walk 5 miles home.
30. The toaster can be considered an acceptable substitute for the ashtray.
31. You whisper louder than most people shout.
Think that's it - unless, of course, you know any more ....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
